The Small Acts of Kindness and Resistance

I want to reiterate what I wrote in 2008 in my The Small Things in Life post, about the small things in life being very important.  Small acts of kindness are the lifeblood of society and really make it work.  Without those acts of kindness, I think things would completely fall apart.  I want to see movements really start to use this hidden power, to do small acts of kindness as a central part of the process of changing society.

The Roman Empire was taken over by the Christians for many reasons, but I think the emphasis of early Christianity on being kind and giving to all was one of the main factors.  They helped plague victims when no one else would.  They lifted up the poor and helped those had lost their livelihoods.  Indeed, they became a poor people's movement and really disrupted the traditional society.  The only way the state could overcome them was to embrace them and set up a strict hierarchy (Constantine... sigh).  

I can only imagine how despairing the situation of early Christians must have seemed.  They were routinely tortured and crucified, killed because they persisted in living a different way.  The Roman Empire spanned the entire world they knew about, and there was no escaping it.  It must have seemed indomitable.  Yet they still continued doing those small acts of kindness and resistance.  The love and kindness they showed to the world was so contrary to the political status quo, and so surprisingly disruptive.  The Roman legal system was focused on property and not on people, prioritizing protection of property.  It was often up to the local authorities whether or not to persecute Christians, and they often did so in response to agitation from the public.  The public did not like the Christian emphasis on personal religion and their boycott of the pagan rituals that the public saw as essential to maintain the order of the universe.  As time went on though, Christians gained a reputation for being kind and giving.  I suspect killing Christians started to cause some cognitive dissonance among the public, should they kill people who act so kindly to strangers?  

Another fascinating aspect of this is how the official punishment was undermined as an effective tool.  Death was the usual punishment for righteous Christians, but more and more kept showing up to be killed.  The Roman magistrates even had to make a distinction between solicited martyrs and persecuted martyrs... they refused to kill solicited martyrs.  Can you imagine our court system refusing to punish people who willingly admit they broke the law?  That would be quite an interesting situation.  I think the number of people who were willing to step up and be killed shows both how powerful the message of kindness and love was and how deeply it was a resistance to the status quo.  Love and anger are the major emotional motivators, and early Christians figured out a way to combine love for each other with resistance to an unjust society.  It is an amazing feat.  They were so effective that they took over the empire.  All from the power of small individual acts and a willingness to suffer for their ideals.    

There is a great power in small acts.  With time they will win over a hostile public, and I can think of no other force that can change the inertia of a society so effectively.  

Thoughts on Self-forgiveness

I have come to truly admire religion's almost magic ability to facilitate people's self-forgiveness. A great example of this is the born-again experience or even something as simple as confession... from what I have observed, people who had wronged others and go through a religious ritual concerning being forgiven find it much easier to forgive themselves. I do not think secular people have anything that compares, or atleast I have not noticed it.

Many have little compassion for people who do wrong. I see no logical reason to hold that position. Everyone does things that are not right, and judging them for their trespasses does no good for anyone. We all have weaknesses and failings. Whether they acknowledge it or not, everyone is emotionally impacted in a negative way by their wrongs. Everyone is human so we are all deserving.

Forgiving oneself is much harder than forgiving others. The absence of self-forgiveness causes personal anguish that can adversely affect people's behavior, leading them to act out of this pain. This negative behavior can take many forms, usually providing only short-term relief while only adding to their long-term burden of guilt. Some behaviors I have noticed:

*people often try to belittle others to feel superior,
*hurt people so they don't feel alone in their pain
*being on-edge and easily roused to anger
*pushing people away - socially isolating behavior
*seeking attention through negative behavior
*when others expect negative things from someone, they react by conforming to that standard.
*identity shifting toward viewing oneself as a wrong-doer, reinforcing a cycle of pain
*feeling the necessity to act wrongfully to prove ones identity.

I think this and other similar behavior stems from the following emotions that run through people when they are saddled with a lack of self-forgiveness.

*Guilt
*Anguish
*Fear
*Anger, hatred
*Resentment
*Feeling isolated, and a fear of loneliness
*Social paranoid - expecting no one to like them
*A feeling of helplessness and like they are condemned for life.

The only way out of this that I can see is self-forgiveness. Making amends and seeking the forgiveness of those who one has wronged is, of course, essential in being able to forgive oneself. But usually this is just the beginning of the process. The pantheon of emotions above are powerfully strong and take serious effort to overcome. However, there is no way around it. People who do not forgive themselves end up adding the the cycles of pain that exist in our society and riddle their lives and the lives of people around them with difficulties.

This is why I always cringe when people say they won't help people because they aren't deserving. No one is an island, we are interconnected and refusing to forgive someone for their wrongs and help them actually just hurts society in general.

It seems to be a hidden trend in human culture, that when one person or a group of people harm others, they themselves are harmed as well, but in different ways. I see it in capitalism where the rich suffer a kind of horrid isolation and fear of loss of property while the poor struggle to survive. I see it in patriarchy where men suffer from a prison of false-emotionlessness and isolation while women are objectified and dehumanized. Wrongs by one party hurt everyone including themselves whether they realize it or not.

Forgiveness, self-forgiveness and reconciliation are the only logical way I can see to heal the wounds in our society.

Wars are Arguments #2

Building on my last post, I would like to explain more about Satyagraha which is a method of conflict that goes to the very roots of social ills. Satyagraha's focus is to change society at a very basic level through organizing the populace to both improve their own lot and to act in concert to improve the society. This can take an infinite variety of forms, from encouraging better diet and exercise habits to developing and implementing better political systems. It even takes the form of civil resistance and disobedience. But the main thrust is a transformation of society itself, which is not the government, but the population. Changing minds and people's daily activities is the primary goal. Everything else is secondary to that focus.

Many may question why one should prioritize changing society instead of focusing on taking over the institutions that run society and then use those as a tool to change it. A careful look at history will show that whenever a movement focuses on taking the reigns of power, it always loses sight of the initial goal of improving society and becomes corrupted by the very means they sought to achieve their end, and in most cases fail to achieve the end anyway. Focusing on direct programs and campaigns to improve society has a two-fold benefit. It actually achieves the end of improving society and it brings the added benefit of building political power almost unconsciously. This political power will then almost naturally bring the institutions of power into its orbit over time.

But this is a slow process and not for the weak. A movement must be strong-willed as well as undogmatic in their approach to how to change society. Ever-improving the methods through practical application and revision is essential. This work will bring a movement into conflict with many groups, but through the judicious use of non-violence, these groups can be successfully turned to either acceptance or support. The weak will resort to violence while the strong remain indomitable in the face of oppression. Oppression and other such evils must be met with principled resistance. I found this sweet video introduction to civil resistance from Waging Nonviolence here is the article: http://wagingnonviolence.org/2010/08/a-succinct-introduction-to-civil-resistance/ the video itself is embedded below. I agree with most of it, but, similarly to what was said in Waging Nonviolence, I disagree with the supposition that nonviolence is not about winning over your opponents. Most successful revolutions whether they are violent or not have won over atleast large parts of the military and police. Look at the French Revolution, there was basically no internal military support for the King. Anyway, the video is still a good watch.

Civil Resistance: A First Look from ICNC on Vimeo.

An Attempt to Explain My Spiritual Practice

The following is a letter I wrote to Dave Belden about my spiritual practice.  It is probably the most articulate I have been on the subject yet, so I wanted to share it.


Dear Dave,
I have found it difficult to figure out a good approach to outlining my spiritual practice, because it feels like explaining my life.  I have an urge to tell stories about how I came upon my beliefs, but I think that would be alittle too long.  I have had to resist the urge to tell more of the history of my development.   To remain succinct, here is a simplified version of the principle behind my spiritual practice:

1. We all change over time.  We change in demeanor, behavior, passions, interests, and what communities we are a part of.  To be human is to be dynamic, thinking of ourselves or others as static limits our capacity and deprives us all of our humanity.
2. Willful action shapes how we change.   You can become the person you want to be through practice.
3. You have the power to decide how to act, behave and respond to any given situation.
4. Every moment is a chance to shape how we change and therefore who we are.
5. Living by broad, well-thought-out tenets facilitates positive personal change.
6. Learn from your mistakes.  Reflect on them at length, for days or months if necessary, to figure out what happened and how to change yourself to be more in line with who you want to be.
7. Reflect on your activities and behaviors and how they impact the world around you.  Try to change your behavior so it changes the people and communities how you want them to change.  
8. The whole world changes over time.  Our collective willful action shapes how it changes.  Even small scale actions change other people’s lives, and you can never know the full positive impact of a good deed.  Likewise, you can never know the full negative impact of a bad deed.

The practice of this principle is the difficult part.  I have used my conscience to good effect in this, when I have the impulse to do something, I will usually check it against my conscience and a myriad of tenets that I try to live by.  Then I act the way that seems to conform to those tenets, sometimes having to force myself to do it.  The most trying actions where I have to hunker down and really compel myself to do are often the most rewarding.  Self-control and a willingness to forgo other emotions and desires in favor of conforming to my practice has been essential in seeing my ability to shape myself become reality.  Likewise, awareness of what I am doing and keeping my practice always in the back of my mind is essential.

Perhaps my greatest experiment in my spiritual practice has been with the Golden Rule.  I started trying to live by the Golden Rule when I was 15.  And it, more than any other tenet, has pushed me to the limit of being the person I want to be.  It has forced me to do some difficult and crazy things.  When I say experiments, I indeed mean it that way.  Looking at the outcomes when I fail to follow the Golden Rule versus when I keep to it has given me the utmost faith it this tenet’s ability to positively shape myself and my world.  These experiments helped me be able to figure out the core tenet of my life and what I believe to be the answer to the eternal question “what is the meaning of life.”

    “People” are my purpose.  That one word encompasses a wide variety of issues, but in short, it means a devotion to other people, helping them, protecting them, and putting others before myself.  Here are the tenets I feel flow from this purpose:

1. Generosity is a tenet that has produced more happiness in my life than I can even conceive of.  I now even get great joy from the search for people to receive.  This includes being generous of myself and of my time, not just the property that happens to be in my possession.
2. Anti-materialism.  This helps alot with following generosity, but it basically means not being attached to possessions and being willing to part with them at any moment.  I have even started trying to re-interpret theft as surprise, unintentional giving to the thief.  Focusing on objects prevents us from seeing the humanity in each other.
3. Forgiveness of everything as soon as it happens.  This not only helps the other person heal but is of huge value in maintaining strong social bonds and one’s own positive outlook.  
4. Being stable.  I think this is the Buddhist part of my practice.  I try to remain calm and unmoved by events and maintain an emotional baseline of happiness.  I consciously let go of frustration and anger, which forgiveness is key in.  Being stable helps the people around me immensely, I have found.
5. Awareness of others and what is probably going on in their minds.  Trying to determine how they feel and what they think based on what I have observed.
6. Activism.  Personal interactions go a long way in changing the world, and bringing that to a larger arena as part of a group is very powerful.
7. Investing myself in the projects and activities I do and in the people around me.
8. Silence.  Being careful with words and listening to other people more than talking.  This shows to other people that you value what they think, as well as makes them value your words more.
9. Non-violence in word and thought as well as in physical presence.
10. Truth.  Not lying beyond white lies.  
11. Humanization.  When I think of other people, no matter who they are or what they have done, I try to humanize them in my mind, not letting myself write them off as bad people.  Seeing myself in other people is another way of saying this.
12. Faith that the universe is dominated by good, and reminding myself of this.
13. Reflecting on everything.  On my behavior, others behavior, consequences of any given action, tenets etc.  This includes the development of self-knowledge and an understanding of oneself.
14. Being non-judgmental.  Being judgmental gets in the way of seeing other people as full human beings, and it burdens you with unpleasant feelings and emotions.  Forgiveness helps alot with maintaining a non-judgmental outlook.  Besides, I feel like reality deals out harsh judgements and punishments to people as it is, I see no reason to add to that misery.

There are probably lots of other tenets, but those are most of the important ones that I could think of off the top of my head.  I would say as far as the practice goes, it is a continuous process.  I am always practicing, trying to make every action deliberate and in-line with who I want to be.  That is really all it boils down to... if you want to become someone else, practice being that person in your daily life and one day you will see yourself a changed person.  I am also always re-examining the principle and tenets behind my spiritual practice, looking for faults or situations that contradict it.   This has helped me maintain confidence in it and improving it when there is an issue.  

I hope that short summary was what you were looking for.
peace,
Will

The Way Out of Madness

I believe it was Martin Luther King who said "The curve of the universe is toward Justice." and Gandhi who told us to look back at history when we despair and see how "the way of truth and love has always won" in the end. Indeed, Love is the foundation of human society, so how it be any other way.

It is utter madness to me, all the violence and hatred that is infecting us. A pandemic of Madness on a scale that has scarce been seen in the annuals of human existence. But the cure does exist. In all its many forms, it has existed since the beginning. However unrefined it may be at this point in history, it has caused the collapse of empires and the restructuring of societies. Always has this cure been based on love, never on hate or apathy. This cure has been wielded by the greats of history to make their worlds better. The Plebeians of Athens used it to bring greater equality to their city. Jesus wielded it against the Romans and the corrupted officials of his land. Buddha used it against the corruption he saw in his own society. Gandhi used it in India, MLK used it in America.
The way out of Madness, the cure to the sickness of hatred is to embrace the love that all human organization and life is built upon. Understanding why this is, is the quintessential necessity behind vaccinating future generations against the diseases of the soul that our world is experiencing.

The way out of Madness is not just an idealistic approach, it is entirely practical. Humans are hard-wired to love, to want to be together, and to live for each other. This is the reason that isolation is a universal punishment across human societies.
Many will throw out examples of people who fail to live up to this ideal, i.e. misanthropes, psychopaths, etc. Unfortunately, there are many people who are so damaged by their experiences, so unable to cope with the horrible situations they are in, that they have fallen for false logics which compel them to do yet more damage to themselves and those around them. To heal these we must not ostracize them or isolate them, we must embrace them and show them the love that every human deserves. This is the idea behind rehabilitation prisons, and why punitive prisons consistently fail to prevent crime. The design of human nature makes this an inevitable fact.

The way out of Madness encompasses non-violence, as violence will only enrage and firm up the will of one's opponent. Violence will only drive a wedge between brothers and force them to believe each other to be less than human. Indeed, the way out of Madness is to believe that we are all humans and treat each other with the dignity that all humans deserve.

The full breadth of the way out of Madness is so expansive that it could not be contained within an entire encyclopedia set. But it can be boiled down to its essence, which is The Golden Rule.
Love all as you would have them love you.

The Small Things in Life

It is my sincere belief that everything, and I do mean everything, is interconnected. I have come to the conclusion that whatever I do, even if I do nothing, it will affect the way the world is, even if it is a very small affect. Still, I think people underestimate the importance of the small things in life. One of my favorite quotes from Gandhi was "It is always the small things that catch your breath." Looking at my life, I can see the wisdom of his statement. There may be a few major things that have affected me, but more often it is the accumulation of small experiences that build into something more. I have hundreds of memories of small things that people did which have had an incredible impact on me and my thinking. I remember someone making this statement expressing sadness over a relative's actions, "The greatest sin is to intentionally hurt someone else." Now, if I was to venture a guess, the person who said this probably completely forgets saying it, and doesn't realize the incredible impact it has had on me. There have also been a few times in my past when I have been walking around, feeling kind of down for whatever reason, and someone I am walking by smiles at me. It is amazing how such a simple act can raise my spirits. I doubt they would remember smiling at a stranger, but I certainly remember their kindness. In fact, these small acts have had a lasting impact on who I am.
If I universalize this principle (i.e. assume that people would react the same way I do when confronted with similar circumstances), then I am struck by the impact that the smallest action can have one others. Doing small, seemingly unimportant things may not give one the sense of accomplishment or appear on the surface to be important , but I think they are actually more important than the large things we do in life. It is, of course, wonderful to make a point of doing something good for others, like volunteering or giving a donation... but I put more stock in how people act towards others on a daily basis. That is a much more effective way to improve the world, since it is, afterall, becoming the change you wish to see. So, don't underestimate the impact your smallest actions can have on the lives of others. I remember one part of the 6th book of Harry Potter, where Dumbledore was trying to explain to Harry why he had the choice to fight Voldemort or not. He was saying that despite the prophecy, it was always his choice. Harry likened it to having the choice between being dragged into a gladiatorial arena to fight, or walking with your head high into the arena. Many people would not believe there was much difference, and that there was no real choice since you have to fight whoever or whatever is in that arena. But, there is a choice. We have a choice about how we confront the obstacles life throws at us, and how we chose to deal with them does, in Harry's words "make all the difference."

I have also noticed that small things have a way of coming back to you. Since they can have such a large impact on others, they can reverberate through social networks like a wave. Making people feel better makes them more likely to make others feel better, and that makes others more likely to make others feel better... which means that you will inevitably be hit by successive waves of small things that make you feel good if you do good things. Of course, anger and hatred work the same way. Being mean to someone can reverberate through the community just as easily, and come back to bite you. Atleast, that has been my experience, and the findings of my countless observations of those around me.
This brings me back to everything being interconnected. It is an inescapable and omnipresent fact of reality... atleast reality as I have observed it. This is not only true of our actions, but our ideas and mindset are just as interconnected. That is one reason that I am not especially fond of single-issue advocacy groups. Social problems are all connected, you can't fight poverty without fighting environmental destruction. You can't fight for democracy without fighting to stop racism, sexism, and other prejudices. You can't fight for peace without fighting for democracy. And so on and so forth.

My excessive amounts of contemplation on these theoretical issues have provided some practical value. I not longer take it for granted that what I do does not matter, and I have tried to become constantly conscious of how my actions can impact others.