Funeral

I was in Pennsylvania for my Grandfather's funeral for alittle over a week. It was really wonderful to see all of my family, and it was reaffirming at this sad time. All 10 of my cousins on that side of the family were there, along with my brother, which is a first. The 12 of us have never been together in one place before. I just wish that we hadn't been brought together by such a sad occasion. But, I have the feeling that we will all be together again in early June for my cousin Rich's wedding.

I was a a pallbearer along with my brother and my other male cousins (all seven of us). I am glad that we were all there, not just because it was good to be together, but because the coffin was very heavy. It was made of very beautiful mahogany, which was my Grandpa's favorite wood. The ceremony in the church and at the cemetery were surprisingly reaffirming. They brought our family and Grandpa's extended community together to share our grief and support each other. Looking at it from an anthropological standpoint, this ceremony is not only meant to be a send-off to the person who has passed away, but to bring people together; to reinforce a community of people who have suffered a severe loss, and to provide an outlet for grief. It is a ritual that had a palpable affect on the mood of my family. It helped everyone overcome the loss and united us to support each other. Whoever devised such a ritual obviously had a great deal of insight into human society and what people need when they sustain such a loss.

I believe the spirit of my Grandpa was present in the funeral. He devoted so much himself to his family, he gave everything to us and treated us wonderfully. His kindness and generosity helped to make our family strong and loving. It is fitting then that his funeral served to reinforce us and to help us. I think he would have been very happy to know that even in death he could help his family and give them strength. At the cemetery was very cold and windy, half of the people gathered were shivering. But, at the end, the sun came out and took the chill out of the air. It was such a magical moment, like he was saying goodbye.

My Grandfather will always serve as an example to me of how I should live my life. He had his priorities straight, with his family always coming first. Generosity, kindness, and humor were among his most notable traits. His selflessness bore fruits so rich and sweet that he managed to hang onto life for years while living in a very difficult state. I hope that one day I will be able to emulate his generosity and selflessness.